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Old 06-11-2010, 12:04 PM   #91
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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Originally Posted by luvmybaby333 View Post
Well... I am very pro-breastfeeding, but I am aware that in this day and age it has become a very personal choice. I won't down anyone for the (educated) decisions they make for their families. Whether it be to breastfeed until 3 or to formula feed. BUT, the silly excuses really irritate me. If you are secure in your decision, then just lay it out there. Don't BS and try to garner sympathy for some made-up condition that prevented you from BFing.

I dunno. I'm the only person I know around here that has BF 2 years. Of course, I'm one of VERY few people I know IRL that have BF at all. The ones I do know all quit after a few months. It's like it was "okay" for a few token months (and they consider themselves superior to the moms around here that never tried) but anything past that is just in excess.

So with my first DD I didn't hear much in the way of excuses. I heard all the "It's just nasty." "I don't want a baby hanging off my tit." "I don't want to ruin my breasts." explanations. I was very young (18) and hearing that BS frustrated me. I ended up weaning my ODD at a year because I was just getting so much negative feedback.

However, there is a 5-year gap between my girls, and I was surprised to find that in that span of time, the general atmosphere concerning BFing has changed. I don't see many more women BFing... But I guess the idea that it's "better for baby" has been catching on, so that all these women who don't do it feel sorta guilty. So now all the comments are: " I just couldn't do it, it hurt too bad." "I tried but my baby was allergic to my milk." " I take medicine and I can't BF." ...

The best one so far came from my cousin's wife. We aren't real close but I did try to talk BFing up when she was pregnant. She had expressed some interest, but in the end she had the classic (for around here) c-section followed by immediate formula feeding in the hossy. I wasn't surprised and I just didn't worry about it because it wasn't my kid. So anyway, they came to visit one day when the baby was a bit older. They were commenting on how healthy and bright my YDD is. Throughout the conversation it came out that I was still BFing (Little A was close to 2 at this point.) My cousin's wife looked sorta ashamed. She kept saying she wished she could have BF... but it just didn't work. So I finally asked her what happened. Apparently the baby had been fed a bottle of formula while she was recovering from her C-section. She said that the nurse brought her the baby after that and she tried to put her to the breast. The baby wouldn't latch right away. The nurse told her that it was probably because her milk was "too salty" and didn't taste as good as the formula the baby had already been given. So she didn't bother trying again after that.

I was just horrified. I told her that I wish I'd been around because I could have told her with no uncertainty that her milk was NOT "too salty". That's just ridiculous. I informed her that breastmilk tastes waaay better than formula. Anyone that suggests differently has obviously never tasted either one.

So anyway, that's that. It went from BFing being "uncool"... to BFing being "too hard". Meanwhile, I'm still the freak that nurses her baby too long and uses cloth diapers. But whatever. I just try to focus on my kiddos and hope that everyone else catches on soon enough.
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Old 06-11-2010, 03:01 PM   #92
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

My cousin isn't BFing because she's taking medication and the baby wont nurse. Makes the milk taste funny I guess. She has extenuating circumstances along with that. And she's a bad mom anyway. Woman is crazy.

My one mom friend here in town only BF for the first 3 months. She has SEVERE D-MER. She probably wont nurse the new one long either.
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Old 06-11-2010, 03:23 PM   #93
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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I your post! I agree about it being an 'educated' decision. I think that's more understandable than just excuses. But sadly I know [and yup this will come off and be judgemental], that when I'm in the baby section and I see 3 mamas ALL with newborns buying formula with WIC checks [NOT that WIC is bad, I had it myself!!], I'm pretty much A@@uming that those are not educated choices. I see way too much of it in my region. I mean literally when I was buying breastpads one day, I counted FIVE mothers all with newborns/VERY young infants getting WIC formula. It's just made too easy IMO. [okay, ready for the tomatoes to be thrown at me!]
Thanks.

And no tomatoes from me. I think formula is made too "easy" as well. However, I'm not sure what the solution should be because I do think that everyone should have the right to choose for themselves. I suppose I just wish it wasn't so easy to get for free. I don't want babies to go hungry... But at the same time, I think some mothers could benefit from having to be a little more attached to their children. I'm not saying that all FF aren't attached... nor am I saying that all WIC users are bad parents, or that they all FF, or whatever (I have used WIC myself.) But you wouldn't believe how many teen moms around here think it's no big deal to pop kids out and feed them free formula while pawning them off to whomever will take them (all so that they can go party it up and conceive more children.) It makes me sad.

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Old 06-11-2010, 03:33 PM   #94
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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My step sister. She never even tried. And my SIL's cousin wouldn't do it because she said she heard it can mess your boobs up. People who don't at least try to BF irk me. It's the best nutrition for your child. At least give it a try!
Breastfeeding made my boobs awesome. They went up to a D cup from a small C (B+? LOL) And they never went down. I'm not much heavier either. They are up to DD now and I am wondering what will be the permanent size when we wean.

It doesn't mess your boobs up.
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Old 06-11-2010, 03:46 PM   #95
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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Old 06-11-2010, 05:24 PM   #96
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

I haven't read all these posts, but I'll respond to the original inquiry: My sister-in-law never even tried BFing with my niece My MIL didn't breastfeed, because apparently her mother had lots of issues with BFing, and so my SIL thought it was just going to be too hard and never even tried. It made me very sad, because her baby had lots and lots of tummy issues with formula (DS did, too, actually -- I think it runs in the family) and they ended up having to buy her the expensive alimentum stuff, and since SIL already works two jobs to balance the budget, I'm sure the $$$ formula didn't help matters.
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Old 06-11-2010, 06:05 PM   #97
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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i wonder how many of the wic moms are single working moms in states that don't require employers to provide pumping rooms. it would be nearly impossible to keep breastfeeding under those circumstances. it would take A LOT to make me not do it, though.

these maps are kind of (math nerd ) fun to look at. they're from different years, but i think it they say a lot.

http://www.mothering.com/sites/resources/map.pdf

http://www.statehealthfacts.org/comp...17&sortc=2&o=a

luckily, i'm in one of the few states that does require employers to have a pumping room (and mine provides awesome pumps, too!),

i still agree that there are a lot of lame excuses out there, though.
That is a good and valid point. I will say in my region, most employers are pretty accomadating.
However, we have a huge influx of teen pregnancy and that's the majority of people that I saw in the WIC office when I would go. When I first started getting WIC even the clerks were surprised that I was 36 years [at the time] AND married! Apparently it's not to common Shoot even the OB I went too said that the percentage of "older" and married moms was really low like less than 20%. NOT saying this is wrong or anything, so no one get their panties in a wad It may be more of a regional thing where I'm at.
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Old 06-12-2010, 05:43 PM   #98
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

One of my friends isn't doing it because she "needs her sleep"...Not sure how getting up and mixing formula is easier than popping a boob in the baby's mouth, but her baby, her choice.
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Old 06-12-2010, 06:23 PM   #99
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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i wonder how many of the wic moms are single working moms in states that don't require employers to provide pumping rooms. it would be nearly impossible to keep breastfeeding under those circumstances. it would take A LOT to make me not do it, though.
With the passage of the new health care bill, it is now a federal law that employers with 50+ employees provide a pumping room for nursing mothers, as well as reasonable (unpaid) break time for pumping, until the child is 1 year old. Hooray!

That's awesome that your employer provides pumps. There are 3 of us nursing at my job, and we each have our own pump.
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Old 06-14-2010, 06:47 PM   #100
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

I quit my job because I knew it was going to be a challenge to pump at work. Not because of my specific job but because of management attitudes.
I have one friend who tried everything to bf but dried up by 8 weeks. Her mother told her that she and her grandmother had the same problem as well as her sister - apparently there is a hereditary thing there.
I had another friend who said while she was preggo that she wasn't going to bf. I was disappointed (that she didn't want to try) but respected her decision. As we grew in our friendship after the birth of our babies, she confided in me her real reason and it was a very valid medical reason. I felt bad that I had passed a bit of judgement on her. But knowing her real situation, I would have also encouraged her not to bf. And I'm very much pro bfing.

oh and yes, my DH loves the new boobs. I went from a little A to a full D! and holding (for now).
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