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Old 06-23-2010, 08:12 PM   #121
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

my SIL, because "I don't want something sucking on my chichis"

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Old 06-23-2010, 08:18 PM   #122
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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I have to say that I'm disappointed by how many mamas here are referring to other women who "claim to have supply issues" or use that as their excuse. While I obviously don't know the women you're referring to, I have been in their shoes. I was heartbroken when I finally gave up breastfeeding my DD because of MAJOR supply issues that I had tried everything for. It really saddens me to think that friends of mine who were fortunate enough not to deal with that heartbreak might view that as just an excuse on my part. Why can't we ever just give other moms the benefit of the doubt?

I live in an area where it seems the majority of moms EBF. Or at least many, many of them. And it's not an uncommon sight to see several different women nursing in public which is awesome! But as someone who desperately wanted to, did tons of research, had lots of support and for reasons beyond my control was unable to BF beyond week #3 despite attempting all sorts of things, it's tough to think people in my community think less of me for that. I hope they don't.
I do feel sad when people don't even want to try because it was something I wanted so badly. But after having the experience I had I'm MUCH less judgmental about the issue and less judgmental overall. Silver lining, I guess.

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Old 06-23-2010, 08:19 PM   #123
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

As far as supply issues go, I think some people really have them (obviously) and some people THINK they have them because of BAD INFORMATION!!! A nurse in the hospital when I had DS, tried to tell me that since my milk hadn't come in yet (he was 6 hours old!!!), I should give him a bottle of formula because "he was too big of a baby and needed more than colostrum, plus I wouldn't make enough milk for him right away". I told her thank you, but this was my third child, that I had breastfed my daughters, and that I wouldn't be concerned unless he stopped pooping and peeing.

I also spoke to the hospital's lactation consultant about that nurse. The LC was very upset and said they'd be doing some new training!

ETA~ I really feel for the mamas who can't BF. It would break my heart and I have a lot of respect for those of you who try so hard to make it work!
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Old 06-23-2010, 08:56 PM   #124
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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Originally Posted by liztiara84 View Post
As far as supply issues go, I think some people really have them (obviously) and some people THINK they have them because of BAD INFORMATION!!! A nurse in the hospital when I had DS, tried to tell me that since my milk hadn't come in yet (he was 6 hours old!!!), I should give him a bottle of formula because "he was too big of a baby and needed more than colostrum, plus I wouldn't make enough milk for him right away". I told her thank you, but this was my third child, that I had breastfed my daughters, and that I wouldn't be concerned unless he stopped pooping and peeing.

I also spoke to the hospital's lactation consultant about that nurse. The LC was very upset and said they'd be doing some new training!

ETA~ I really feel for the mamas who can't BF. It would break my heart and I have a lot of respect for those of you who try so hard to make it work!
My oldest was over 10 lbs at birth and I was almost 20 when I had him so obviously not the most experienced mother.... I could not belive the number of ppl that told me that there was NO WAY I'd make enough milk for him. I was bombarded by ppl's opinions, including those that were totally wrong. I did not have a huge support system. Even my gramma (who now tells me that I have to wean because I'm pregnant) told me to give him cereal when he was like 2 days old cause that's what they did with all her BIG babies. She nursed 9 of her 10 babies and funny she decided NOT to nurse her 6th because she had a hard time weaning her 5th. I asked her once if she felt guilty and she said "no it was what I had to do at the time"


I know that there are plenty of mamas that desperately try to nurse their babys and DO in fact have supply issues or latch issues etc... But I see a lot more moms that just decide it's not for them and rather than saying "I don't want to" or "I don't see the value in it" they site supply issues. I have no clue why. maybe it is because they feel guilty for not continuing, maybe they don't want to dissapoint me after I bend over backward helping them for three LONG days. I honestly do not care how a woman feeds her baby but I would like them to be straight with me from the beginning so I'm not trying to do something that her heart is not even in.

I do see a lot of women also that tried with their first and for whatever reason it didn't work so they just don't try with subsequent children. but then again I see a lot of mamas that tried the first time and are even more determined to make it work a second or third time. Everyone is different
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Old 06-23-2010, 09:29 PM   #125
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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Originally Posted by chmom77 View Post
I have to say that I'm disappointed by how many mamas here are referring to other women who "claim to have supply issues" or use that as their excuse. While I obviously don't know the women you're referring to, I have been in their shoes. I was heartbroken when I finally gave up breastfeeding my DD because of MAJOR supply issues that I had tried everything for. It really saddens me to think that friends of mine who were fortunate enough not to deal with that heartbreak might view that as just an excuse on my part. Why can't we ever just give other moms the benefit of the doubt?
Mama, I am truly sorry you had issues. I did have TRUE issues with my second and thankfully I worked through them and was finally able to wean off of donor and goat milk supplements to go on to successfully EBF. With my first though I didn't have true issues even though I told myself for a long time that I did. It was just my own ignorance.

At the risk of being flamed [in regards to the bolded part in your post]...When I see LITERALLY 4 or 5 women in the formula aisle of Walmart all buying formula for NEWBORNS/VERY young infants....or sitting in the WIC office [when I was on it], with LITERALLY 10-12 other women ALL bottle feeding with formula admittedly and hearing their conversations about how they didn't even try because formula was "free"....It DOES irk me. It does make me doubt many woman. The simple fact is not THAT many women have TRUE issues. I don't believe it, I do think much of it is excuses. That makes me "one of those lactivist nazis", but I know in my heart that 99% of the women mentioned above had no issues. It's very sad to me that they did not even view BF'ing as a health decision for their child. It was just "free"

ETA: On the WIC office scenario. This happened and came up because I was BF'ing my youngest who was about 5 months old at the time and we all started chatting.
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Old 06-23-2010, 11:50 PM   #126
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

All the ladies in my family BF, but only 3 in my DH's family BF! His aunt, cousin and now his cousin's wife, so only 2 from this generation (and he has a BIG family)... I think it is sooooo sad. I've heard the excuse of not wanting to BF because they'd have to leave the room in mixed company and "miss out" (hello, use a blanket then), I've also heard not wanting to pump when they go back to work, how it will ruin their boobs, it's gross, it hurts.... basically all to me are selfish, is it healthier to BF? YES! So if you can BF, DO IT! I know an on call doctor that had crazy hours and still BF/pumped, so it can be done working, but I do believe it is easier for me being a SAHM. But let's remember, easier isn't better!!!
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:18 AM   #127
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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Originally Posted by chmom77 View Post
I have to say that I'm disappointed by how many mamas here are referring to other women who "claim to have supply issues" or use that as their excuse. While I obviously don't know the women you're referring to, I have been in their shoes. I was heartbroken when I finally gave up breastfeeding my DD because of MAJOR supply issues that I had tried everything for. It really saddens me to think that friends of mine who were fortunate enough not to deal with that heartbreak might view that as just an excuse on my part. Why can't we ever just give other moms the benefit of the doubt?
i agree. i see people saying that supply issues are and excuse but feel bad for those w true supply issues... well, how do you know if the are real or excuses?
i have true supply issues. i had a reduction when i was 20 and was lied to by my doc about red. and bf.
here are my true issues: my nips are small and flat, therefore i need a shield for baby to latch. she doesnt get the milk as easily on that, so she gets mad and wont stay on for more than a min. i have to pump. i am only able to supply some of her diet. as she needs more food, i will be able to supply less and less. my LC doesnt know how much milk i will be able to make and for how long. she says w the type of surgery i had, the brain doesnt realize the boobs need to cont to make milk no matter how much you pump, or your boobs will make milk, but your brain doesnt know to release it. so it a waiting game for now.

and i read some mom here say she hates to see a nb w an artificial nipple in their mouth... well w my shield, even if my baby will bf, she will always have an art. nip, in her mouth =(

people seeing me feed her must assume i dont care enough about her to bf b/c i MUST have formula in her bottle, and def an art. nipple yes, i am jealous, mad,bitter, and sad about this
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Old 06-24-2010, 10:09 AM   #128
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

My sister absolutely refused to nurse. She has 5 kids, they have all been FF. When we discussed BF with her 4th pregnancy, she refused because she didn't do it with the other three, so why start now? She and I are worlds apart in parenting issues. But we do get along okay.

I, too, hate hearing women talk about how their newborn "wasn't getting enough" because all they wanted to do was nurse. I truly wonder how much they actually know about BF, especially in the early weeks.
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Old 06-24-2010, 10:20 AM   #129
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

a good friend of mine- who's a nurse refused to nurse all three of her children bc she didn't feel comfortable. She had no medical issues or latch issues, she just didn't want to. I was baffled mainly bc she stated how she knew it was a lot healthier but didn't want to do it.
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Old 06-24-2010, 10:56 AM   #130
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

"I don't want my boobs to get any bigger"
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