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Old 06-02-2010, 12:20 AM   #31
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

My aunt didn't plan on bf at first. Her reasoning was it was too "sexual". Even at 16 I thought that reasoning was weird. In the end she bf and loved it, even let down. (which is weird, I find letdown uncomfortable, especially the first few weeks).

I brought a bottle of formula to my SIL's, since I didn't have time to pump and she was watching baby. She thought I'd switched to ff, like she does at 6 months. (b/c why would you want to do it any longer than that? ugh)

I think one reason people have such a problem with it is they never see it/its uncommon. And it takes dedication and alot of support. I wish people would at least try.The incest thing is just ridonkulous! Um, where do you think that baby came from? Elective c-section I guess.

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Old 06-02-2010, 12:32 AM   #32
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

A friend and another girl (cousin-in-law) both refused because they said it kind of grossed them out and they just couldn't IMAGINE "feeding" their baby like that. Plus both said they didn't want their boobs to look droopy as a result of breastfeeding. Uh...honey....one day unless you PAY for new ones...they will DROOP regardless!
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Old 06-02-2010, 08:37 AM   #33
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

I really hate the saggy breast excuse. They are so misinformed if they think breastfeeding is going to cause saggy breasts. Pregnancy and age cause that.

I have a cousin-in-law, who was planning on getting WIC when she became pregnant so she could afford formula. Um, breastmilk is free.
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Old 06-02-2010, 08:56 AM   #34
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

Some of these just blow me away...I think a lot of it does have to do with just not being educated about breastfeeding. I have heard one about how it ruins your boobs a lot.

It's hard to hear about how someone had difficulties, which could have been overcome and resolved but they didn't reach out to anyone I always try to tell new mommas that I know that they can call anytime and I will try to help them or find someone how can help them. But they never do
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:22 AM   #35
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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Originally Posted by Pauli View Post
I wish all women would BF. It really is what we are supposed to do. Yes, there are times when it does not work out, but sometimes I wonder if it is just an excuse a lot of the time. I quit nursing my first son at 9mo b/c I started taking a medicine not compatible with it. In retrospect, I did not have to stop, but at the time, they thought it could cause damage. But, I currently nurse my 14mo

Anyway, to answer the question, I know one lady that said she thought it was gross to have a baby suck her boobs.
I agree with you but the minute you say something like it suddenly we're being "judgemental" but the fact remains that some just don't want it bad enough and that's they're choice, but it's one that needs owned up too then KWIM?

I've known a few people for similar reasons or "they didn't want to be bothered" or "why because formula is free on WIC and just as good.?"

I don't personally get it because I feel [barring an unforseen circumstances] that BF'ing is a health decision anyway not really a 'choice' per say. But I'm just a "militant nazi lactivist" sooooo.....
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:52 AM   #36
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

loooooove all the responses!! glad i'm not alone in the "you're not BF'ing because WHY?!!?!?!?" debate! right now i'm on this total "de-sexualization of breasts" kick. their SOUL (yes, i meant to spell it that way) PURPOSE it to profide nourishment and comfort to your children, NOT be to idolized and sexualized. granted, i do enjoy that my hubby loves them so much, but do have them used as a sexual pawn in advertising, media, just out there is sickening to me. WE NEED A REVOLUTION! PUT THE BREAST BACK IN IT'S PLACE!!



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I do have one co-worker who told me she didn't BF her two kids because it's like incest. I couldn't believe she thought that and I asked her if she changed her babies diapers and gave them baths or was that molestation? Some people just don't make much sense!
SERIOUSLY?!?!

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A girl I know from a mom's group told me she doesn't want to BF because she doesn't want her kids to need her that much.
i hate these excuses the most. they're missing out on all that beautiful bonding and closeness that is ONLY shared between a mother and child.

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I only know of one (my neighbor) who absolutely refuses to b/c she thinks it is gross and babies' mouth don't belong on boobs (her words). I'm sure there are others but that is the only one who has came out and said it.
that's what my best friend says to. i'm wondering how i can change her mind and help her see the truth! HELLO! thats what they were created for!

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My best friend BF her 1st child for 3 months before she quite. Her husband is in the Navy and was out to see with no help at home. I didn't know her at the time. Now she is pregnant with #2 and will BF, but isn't too excited about it because her daughter was very difficult. She is hoping this one is easier, but she said that if it becomes too much of a challange she will stop.

I can understand. I was EXTREMELY determined to BF until 1 year, but my son weaned himself at 5 1/2 months. So I pumped until he was 10 1/2 months. I was even getting up in the middle of the night to pump to keep up my supply when my son was sleeping through the night.

I am now expecting #2 and I hope that BF works better with this little one!
best of luck to you and your friend!! i am in awe of you for being so determined about BF'ing.... i love it!!

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Originally Posted by crystaldawn_23 View Post
I've had some tell me their husbands or sig other's don't want them too cause the "boobs" are for them not babies uggh.


Umm I have a friend that refused to nurse because she wanted her baby to have "overnights" with gramma and literally started leaving the baby for whole weekends when she was a few weeks old. We aren't friends since we've had kids lol... just too much disagreement.
that sig others comment made me almost i probably wouldn't be friend with that girl either. DD is 14 months old and has yet to spend a night away from us.

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Originally Posted by hilaryisinked View Post
Wow, if my DH said my boobs were his and not the baby's I would tell him his penis is for peeing and procreating so plan for me to not touch it until I'm ready to make another baby..



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Originally Posted by sandy_dandy View Post
I can only think of one lady I know who absolutely refused to try. It was my old boss a few years ago. She actually interviewed different pediatricians until she found one who wasn't insistent that BF is best! I don't know her exact reasons... she came from an
FF family, so I think BF was something "weird" to her.
glad to know so many pedis are on the side of BF'ing!!


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Originally Posted by kmm123 View Post
My best friend didn't b/c she has a history of anxiety and depression she knew having a baby would be a challenge to her mental health. She knew being the soul source of food would be a potential anxiety trigger -- especially at night etc. So she decided formula was the best option. Having grown up with her and supported her through many bad times I totally got this and thought she was smart to think ahead and try to avoid a spiral..
wow!! i can see why BF'ing wasn't for her! i hope she's doing well and that she is blessed by her kids!

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Originally Posted by VeganCupcake View Post
My mother calls breastfeeding "a dirty habit". Luckily, she lives very far away from us and we don't see her very often. My siblings and I were born in the time when women just didn't breastfeed because formula was supposed to be superior and liberating for women, too. I think my mother bought into the marketing and never breastfed any of her babies even once.


[QUOTE=army_princess;10394527]
Reasons? Probably "formula is "easier" to use"

my reason for not nursing DS was he was a strong sucker, DD is the same. I also have forceful let down to the point it is painful sometimes and I also have over supply issues. Because of this I get blocked ducts and mastitis. SO even though I am still nursing DD I am struggling daily with it, I keep telling myself I REFUSE to formula feed her. Even if it means I am shaking, crying, sometimes screaming in pain while nursing her.
QUOTE]

seriously what is easier than fresh milk straight from the tap??? and i love your passion about BF'ing. you're a good mom for knowing what's best for your children and providing that for them, even if it means pain and stress for you.
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:59 AM   #37
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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none of my friends or family have breast fed.

My mom did nurse us, my grandma nursed her kids. But no one that I can actually remember ever nursed. My sister tried but failed 3 times.

Reasons? Probably "formula is "easier" to use"

my reason for not nursing DS was he was a strong sucker, DD is the same. I also have forceful let down to the point it is painful sometimes and I also have over supply issues. Because of this I get blocked ducts and mastitis. SO even though I am still nursing DD I am struggling daily with it, I keep telling myself I REFUSE to formula feed her. Even if it means I am shaking, crying, sometimes screaming in pain while nursing her.


I recently talked to my grandma, mom and sister, they all had the same/similar issues. SO maybe it runs in the family? I have not asked my aunts, pretty sure they did not nurse though.
Are you working with a LC or LLL? They have been really helpful with my oversupply issues, as well as how to deal with painful letdowns.
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Old 06-02-2010, 12:20 PM   #38
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

i'm ok with those who try but can't -

i had a friend who's husband was at sea, her first child and really stressed out. my husband was in iraq at the same time and i had problems with let down due to stress, so i know exactly what she was going through. i was able to EBF eventually because i had come home and my family is very very very pro BF, but i know she was away from family.

also another friend of mine had very bad PPD and very overwhelmed with her FF child... so i don't know how BFing would have been. with her second her husband was deployed. she had a pump on her registry but already FFing her son at the hospital. : /

a lady came to LLL and her MIL was asking her why doesn't she FF instead of BF cause she wants to watch her baby. i think that kind of thing is SO sad and VERY selfish of the MIL in general. BF or FF, babies belong with the mama.
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Old 06-02-2010, 12:24 PM   #39
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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My step sister. She never even tried. And my SIL's cousin wouldn't do it because she said she heard it can mess your boobs up. People who don't at least try to BF irk me. It's the best nutrition for your child. At least give it a try!

This is funny to me- one of the first things my mom said to me about breastfeeding is that she thought it was good for her breasts! She sacrificed a lot and fought to breastfeed my sister and I when we were in the hospital after being born at 31 weeks. I appreciate that so much!
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Old 06-02-2010, 12:30 PM   #40
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

My husband is almost a little TOO supportive of breastfeeding- it's kind of weird to me. He was so helpful in the first few weeks reminding me of things that we learned in the breastfeeding class, making sure that Claire's latch was good, etc...which I really appreciate. But he says that my boobs are "on loan" right now and he seems afraid to touch them! It's kind of funny but a little annoying.

Guys are really 'all or nothing' sometimes.
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