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Old 06-10-2010, 12:56 PM   #81
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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Old 06-10-2010, 01:14 PM   #82
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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sorry, my again.
i think it is hard at the beginning. something i felt was NOT helpful was that the lactation consultants and nurses, etc kept saying it shouldn't hurt. okay, you've never had someone sucking on them (like that ) before, so there's going to be an adjustment period. they will get chapped, crack, bleed, etc until they get used to it. now, it REALLY hurts if they're not on there right, but it does hurt some even when they do have a good latch. it hurt for me up to about a week. i wonder how many moms are like, "well, it hurts, so i guess i'm not doing it right, so i guess i better give up".

i don't remember when we started getting the latch right the first time, but it was probably 6-8 weeks. there were some 10 minute attempts in there, but i never got frustrated. we just had to figure it out. i NEVER considered formula. never even crossed my mind. and again, i have been very lucky with how well it has gone for me. no supply problems, mastitis, thrush...i know it's not that easy for everyone.
This was the worst thing that the LC told me. She was absolutely no help at all with my first DD. She made me feel like a failure, like there was one right way to BF my baby and I wasn't doing it right. After 2 weeks of trying like crazy to get a proper latch (trush, tongue tie, and pacis really got in the way) I started pumping. I pumped for 6 months and DD was "breastfed" for 9 because of my freezer storage. For the first few months I refused to let anyone else feed her with the bottle because I figured it was my right to bond through the feeding even if my BM was coming from a bottle.

The most absurd reason I've heard from a FFing mama was, "it's just not natural."
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Old 06-10-2010, 01:15 PM   #83
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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sorry, my again.
i think it is hard at the beginning. something i felt was NOT helpful was that the lactation consultants and nurses, etc kept saying it shouldn't hurt. okay, you've never had someone sucking on them (like that ) before, so there's going to be an adjustment period. they will get chapped, crack, bleed, etc until they get used to it. now, it REALLY hurts if they're not on there right, but it does hurt some even when they do have a good latch. it hurt for me up to about a week. i wonder how many moms are like, "well, it hurts, so i guess i'm not doing it right, so i guess i better give up".

i don't remember when we started getting the latch right the first time, but it was probably 6-8 weeks. there were some 10 minute attempts in there, but i never got frustrated. we just had to figure it out. i NEVER considered formula. never even crossed my mind. and again, i have been very lucky with how well it has gone for me. no supply problems, mastitis, thrush...i know it's not that easy for everyone.
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Old 06-10-2010, 04:49 PM   #84
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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Originally Posted by magooken View Post
sorry, my again.
i think it is hard at the beginning. something i felt was NOT helpful was that the lactation consultants and nurses, etc kept saying it shouldn't hurt. okay, you've never had someone sucking on them (like that ) before, so there's going to be an adjustment period. they will get chapped, crack, bleed, etc until they get used to it. now, it REALLY hurts if they're not on there right, but it does hurt some even when they do have a good latch. it hurt for me up to about a week. i wonder how many moms are like, "well, it hurts, so i guess i'm not doing it right, so i guess i better give up".
ITA. I never had cracking/bleeding, but I had toe-curling pain upon latching DS frequently for the first 4-5 months, despite everyone saying his latch looked good. IDK if it was just his tiny mouth or if I had some Reynaud's going on (which I didn't even hear about till after I was no longer having the pain). But yeah, it can definitely hurt. Even when you're doing it "right."
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Old 06-10-2010, 05:54 PM   #85
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

Yeah, I do. The two biggest reasons are that it's gross and that it's too much work (I guess meaning putting up with the pain/discomfort, engorgement, leaking, etc...I wish people realized that's almost always just temporary!!).

We are a very backwards society when it comes to breastfeeding, and it's sad that it's the babies who take the brunt of the selfishness. (NOT saying everyone who doesn't BF is doing it for selfish reasons)
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Old 06-10-2010, 09:04 PM   #86
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

It's just plain stupid when people say it's not natural! What, then formula is?

I had to when I saw the comment from the nurse about not like anyone touching her ... um, then how the heck did she have a kid, immaculate conception?

I have a friend/former coworker (at my old job) who said she wasn't sure if she would BF her kid if she had any one day because she just gets weirded out by the thought of it. I didn't push the issue because I valued our friendship and didn't want to offend her and she can't help what she is weirded out by. But I casually mentioned all the benefits to the mom and the baby every time the subject came up. And that was often because another friend/former coworker would ALWAYS comment about how much I eat while losing the baby weight so quickly, and I would attribute it all to BFing (and pumping ). I think that once she does have a baby of her own, she might change her mind about it.

Oh, and I at the "my boobs are too small" excuse because even in the lactating state my boobs are no bigger than an A. And I made enough to donate on several occasions! I think the only downside to having such tiny boobs is that they can't hold as much. The most they can hold is 8oz per side, then they leak (not to mention the let-downs every so often). And that's really pushing it.
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Old 06-10-2010, 11:01 PM   #87
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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A girl I know from a mom's group told me she doesn't want to BF because she doesn't want her kids to need her that much.
That's just sad ... No wonder there are so many displaced, abandoned children in America. Their parents don't want them to "need them that much". Seriously One of my all-time favorite quotes is... "Remember, You are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being."
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Old 06-11-2010, 09:21 AM   #88
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

Well... I am very pro-breastfeeding, but I am aware that in this day and age it has become a very personal choice. I won't down anyone for the (educated) decisions they make for their families. Whether it be to breastfeed until 3 or to formula feed. BUT, the silly excuses really irritate me. If you are secure in your decision, then just lay it out there. Don't BS and try to garner sympathy for some made-up condition that prevented you from BFing.

I dunno. I'm the only person I know around here that has BF 2 years. Of course, I'm one of VERY few people I know IRL that have BF at all. The ones I do know all quit after a few months. It's like it was "okay" for a few token months (and they consider themselves superior to the moms around here that never tried) but anything past that is just in excess.

So with my first DD I didn't hear much in the way of excuses. I heard all the "It's just nasty." "I don't want a baby hanging off my tit." "I don't want to ruin my breasts." explanations. I was very young (18) and hearing that BS frustrated me. I ended up weaning my ODD at a year because I was just getting so much negative feedback.

However, there is a 5-year gap between my girls, and I was surprised to find that in that span of time, the general atmosphere concerning BFing has changed. I don't see many more women BFing... But I guess the idea that it's "better for baby" has been catching on, so that all these women who don't do it feel sorta guilty. So now all the comments are: " I just couldn't do it, it hurt too bad." "I tried but my baby was allergic to my milk." " I take medicine and I can't BF." ...

The best one so far came from my cousin's wife. We aren't real close but I did try to talk BFing up when she was pregnant. She had expressed some interest, but in the end she had the classic (for around here) c-section followed by immediate formula feeding in the hossy. I wasn't surprised and I just didn't worry about it because it wasn't my kid. So anyway, they came to visit one day when the baby was a bit older. They were commenting on how healthy and bright my YDD is. Throughout the conversation it came out that I was still BFing (Little A was close to 2 at this point.) My cousin's wife looked sorta ashamed. She kept saying she wished she could have BF... but it just didn't work. So I finally asked her what happened. Apparently the baby had been fed a bottle of formula while she was recovering from her C-section. She said that the nurse brought her the baby after that and she tried to put her to the breast. The baby wouldn't latch right away. The nurse told her that it was probably because her milk was "too salty" and didn't taste as good as the formula the baby had already been given. So she didn't bother trying again after that.

I was just horrified. I told her that I wish I'd been around because I could have told her with no uncertainty that her milk was NOT "too salty". That's just ridiculous. I informed her that breastmilk tastes waaay better than formula. Anyone that suggests differently has obviously never tasted either one.

So anyway, that's that. It went from BFing being "uncool"... to BFing being "too hard". Meanwhile, I'm still the freak that nurses her baby too long and uses cloth diapers. But whatever. I just try to focus on my kiddos and hope that everyone else catches on soon enough.
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Old 06-11-2010, 11:16 AM   #89
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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Originally Posted by luvmybaby333 View Post
Well... I am very pro-breastfeeding, but I am aware that in this day and age it has become a very personal choice. I won't down anyone for the (educated) decisions they make for their families. Whether it be to breastfeed until 3 or to formula feed. BUT, the silly excuses really irritate me. If you are secure in your decision, then just lay it out there. Don't BS and try to garner sympathy for some made-up condition that prevented you from BFing.

I dunno. I'm the only person I know around here that has BF 2 years. Of course, I'm one of VERY few people I know IRL that have BF at all. The ones I do know all quit after a few months. It's like it was "okay" for a few token months (and they consider themselves superior to the moms around here that never tried) but anything past that is just in excess.

So with my first DD I didn't hear much in the way of excuses. I heard all the "It's just nasty." "I don't want a baby hanging off my tit." "I don't want to ruin my breasts." explanations. I was very young (18) and hearing that BS frustrated me. I ended up weaning my ODD at a year because I was just getting so much negative feedback.

However, there is a 5-year gap between my girls, and I was surprised to find that in that span of time, the general atmosphere concerning BFing has changed. I don't see many more women BFing... But I guess the idea that it's "better for baby" has been catching on, so that all these women who don't do it feel sorta guilty. So now all the comments are: " I just couldn't do it, it hurt too bad." "I tried but my baby was allergic to my milk." " I take medicine and I can't BF." ...

The best one so far came from my cousin's wife. We aren't real close but I did try to talk BFing up when she was pregnant. She had expressed some interest, but in the end she had the classic (for around here) c-section followed by immediate formula feeding in the hossy. I wasn't surprised and I just didn't worry about it because it wasn't my kid. So anyway, they came to visit one day when the baby was a bit older. They were commenting on how healthy and bright my YDD is. Throughout the conversation it came out that I was still BFing (Little A was close to 2 at this point.) My cousin's wife looked sorta ashamed. She kept saying she wished she could have BF... but it just didn't work. So I finally asked her what happened. Apparently the baby had been fed a bottle of formula while she was recovering from her C-section. She said that the nurse brought her the baby after that and she tried to put her to the breast. The baby wouldn't latch right away. The nurse told her that it was probably because her milk was "too salty" and didn't taste as good as the formula the baby had already been given. So she didn't bother trying again after that.

I was just horrified. I told her that I wish I'd been around because I could have told her with no uncertainty that her milk was NOT "too salty". That's just ridiculous. I informed her that breastmilk tastes waaay better than formula. Anyone that suggests differently has obviously never tasted either one.

So anyway, that's that. It went from BFing being "uncool"... to BFing being "too hard". Meanwhile, I'm still the freak that nurses her baby too long and uses cloth diapers. But whatever. I just try to focus on my kiddos and hope that everyone else catches on soon enough.

I your post! I agree about it being an 'educated' decision. I think that's more understandable than just excuses. But sadly I know [and yup this will come off and be judgemental], that when I'm in the baby section and I see 3 mamas ALL with newborns buying formula with WIC checks [NOT that WIC is bad, I had it myself!!], I'm pretty much A@@uming that those are not educated choices. I see way too much of it in my region. I mean literally when I was buying breastpads one day, I counted FIVE mothers all with newborns/VERY young infants getting WIC formula. It's just made too easy IMO. [okay, ready for the tomatoes to be thrown at me!]
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Old 06-11-2010, 11:23 AM   #90
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmybaby333 View Post
Well... I am very pro-breastfeeding, but I am aware that in this day and age it has become a very personal choice. I won't down anyone for the (educated) decisions they make for their families. Whether it be to breastfeed until 3 or to formula feed. BUT, the silly excuses really irritate me. If you are secure in your decision, then just lay it out there. Don't BS and try to garner sympathy for some made-up condition that prevented you from BFing.

I dunno. I'm the only person I know around here that has BF 2 years. Of course, I'm one of VERY few people I know IRL that have BF at all. The ones I do know all quit after a few months. It's like it was "okay" for a few token months (and they consider themselves superior to the moms around here that never tried) but anything past that is just in excess.

So with my first DD I didn't hear much in the way of excuses. I heard all the "It's just nasty." "I don't want a baby hanging off my tit." "I don't want to ruin my breasts." explanations. I was very young (18) and hearing that BS frustrated me. I ended up weaning my ODD at a year because I was just getting so much negative feedback.

However, there is a 5-year gap between my girls, and I was surprised to find that in that span of time, the general atmosphere concerning BFing has changed. I don't see many more women BFing... But I guess the idea that it's "better for baby" has been catching on, so that all these women who don't do it feel sorta guilty. So now all the comments are: " I just couldn't do it, it hurt too bad." "I tried but my baby was allergic to my milk." " I take medicine and I can't BF." ...

The best one so far came from my cousin's wife. We aren't real close but I did try to talk BFing up when she was pregnant. She had expressed some interest, but in the end she had the classic (for around here) c-section followed by immediate formula feeding in the hossy. I wasn't surprised and I just didn't worry about it because it wasn't my kid. So anyway, they came to visit one day when the baby was a bit older. They were commenting on how healthy and bright my YDD is. Throughout the conversation it came out that I was still BFing (Little A was close to 2 at this point.) My cousin's wife looked sorta ashamed. She kept saying she wished she could have BF... but it just didn't work. So I finally asked her what happened. Apparently the baby had been fed a bottle of formula while she was recovering from her C-section. She said that the nurse brought her the baby after that and she tried to put her to the breast. The baby wouldn't latch right away. The nurse told her that it was probably because her milk was "too salty" and didn't taste as good as the formula the baby had already been given. So she didn't bother trying again after that.

I was just horrified. I told her that I wish I'd been around because I could have told her with no uncertainty that her milk was NOT "too salty". That's just ridiculous. I informed her that breastmilk tastes waaay better than formula. Anyone that suggests differently has obviously never tasted either one.

So anyway, that's that. It went from BFing being "uncool"... to BFing being "too hard". Meanwhile, I'm still the freak that nurses her baby too long and uses cloth diapers. But whatever. I just try to focus on my kiddos and hope that everyone else catches on soon enough.
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