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Old 02-17-2007, 06:02 PM   #1
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? about going to the hospital to have a baby when you have a toddler

My dd will be 26 months old 2 days after her brother is born. She is staying with my MIL who live 2 minutes from the hospital. I have left her over night with MIL once and it went fine but 3 hole nights that worrys me. Did anyone else feel this way? What helped? Will I not worry as much once the baby is born and I am in the hospital?

Rachel

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Old 02-17-2007, 06:08 PM   #2
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Re: ? about going to the hospital to have a baby when you have a toddler

Do you have to stay for 3 whole days? If so, as long as DD could come for visits, I think it would be fine.
We had a homebirth with DS #2, and I was only away from DS #1 for about 3 hours. It was great and I attribute that to the VERY smooth transition for DS #1. He accepted and loved DS #2 from the very beginning. DS#1 was almost 24 months at the time. Sorry for the book... HTH!
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Old 02-17-2007, 06:11 PM   #3
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Re: ? about going to the hospital to have a baby when you have a toddler

I know for us dd would go nuts before she'd spend 3 days at MILs house when the baby is born. She will go to MILs house when I'm in labor (MIL lives in same town as hospital). After the baby is born my Mom is coming so she can take dd home for the rest of my stay. Hubby will pop in and out to play with her and possibly go home to put her to bed at least one night. Hubby also sleeps at home but doesn't like to head home until closer to midnight so if dd wakes in the middle of the night Daddy will be there. DD loves MIL but hates being away from home for long. We know she'll do fine for one night but more than that is asking too much. So that is a (long) solution that we think will work for us. And we still have to August to change it as needed.
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Old 02-17-2007, 06:14 PM   #4
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Re: ? about going to the hospital to have a baby when you have a toddler

DS was 22 months when the girls werre born. I stayed for two days and my mom stayed at our house overnight with Dominic. He was upset both nights and would sit there and say "Mommy" sometimes, "Daddy" others. I think we decided if he was having a really rough time with it DH would come home for awhile at night so he could get his parent fix, LOL. He did come to visit once, but he was ready to go since it was a strange environment and nurses had to keep coming in, etc.
In the end he did fine. I think he was happy we were home, but then again the peace and quiet with just grandma was probably nice before we brought two really noisy things home, KWIM?
I doubt you'll care as much once the baby is here, and I'm sure she'll do fine!
Cristina, from the sounds of it (them knowing exactly how old she'll be and how long she'll be staying) she's having a c-section so I think they prefer you stay the 3 days.
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Old 02-17-2007, 06:18 PM   #5
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Re: ? about going to the hospital to have a baby when you have a toddler

My kids stayed with MIL.. and let me tell ya ... They had a blast..LOL.. they came visit me and william for about 1 hour..and was pulling MIL out the door to go get some snacks at her house..lol.. never a problem here!
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Old 02-17-2007, 06:21 PM   #6
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Re: ? about going to the hospital to have a baby when you have a toddler

In my case, ds was born accidentally at home while dd was waiting in the car for me to go to the hospital. Actually, she wasn't there when ds was born, but just prior to his birth until dh called my neighbor to come get her (while on the phone with 911 and he was asking me for her phone number...while I was trying *NOT* to push LOL). Anyway, b/c ds was premature, we had to stay in the hospital for 2 nights. She was 18 months old and still nursed to sleep and several times during the day. I was pretty upset about leaving her, especially since we hadn't talked about it at all as his birth so soon was a HUGE surprise!

Anyway, my parents came and stayed at our house with her that first night. We felt it was best to keep her in her own environment. Lucky for us, ds was born in the late-evening, so they didn't get back home from the hospital until almost midnight and she was beat! The next morning, dh left the hospital around 7:30 or so to be with her. They came and visited me at the hospital that day, but he stayed with her most of the day. My parents did spend some time with her while he came to see me. That second night, he didn't say with me as we felt it was best for him to be with her. The day we were discharged, they came to the hospital and spent the morning there until we could go home (our local news station came to interview us, so we wanted the whole family there). It was fine for her to be there b/c she was a sibling.

Sorry for the novel - the short version is 1) can your older child stay in her own environment? Can your MIL come to your house instead? 2) Can your dh spend as much time as possible with her? Be home for meals/nap time/bed time? I think this helped a lot. 3) Make sure your oldest does get time to visit with you. Let daddy or grandparents cuddle the baby while you are in the hospital so you can cuddle your big baby.

Hope this helped some! You don't worry about it as much when you are in the hospital - truely! You just need someone who can tell you as often that you need to hear it that your oldest is fine

Tara
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Old 02-17-2007, 06:21 PM   #7
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Re: ? about going to the hospital to have a baby when you have a toddler

My DS1 was exactly 27 months old when DS2 was born. My parents live less than five minutes from the hospital. DS1 had sleepovers at my parents' place before DS2 was born and did fine. I was in the hospital for 2 nights after DS2 was born (c-sec). DH stayed with me the whole time because DS2 was rooming in with me and I was worried about being alone with baby after the surgery. DS1 went to my parents' place the night before DS2 was born because I had to be at the hospital at 5 a.m..

DS1 did reasonably well with my parents during our hospital stay. They had a routine where he called me first thing in the morning, came to visit right after his nap in the afternoon, and came to visit again (in his pyjamas) right before bed. I read him his bedtime story all three nights. He had a hard time leaving after the visits, and I think it was hard for him to see me with the IV in my arm, but I do think the visits were important. My mom took him to daycare one day and he had a terrible time when she dropped him off, but his teachers said he was OK during the day.

Where we ran into more difficulty was after I got home. DS1 showed a lot of separation anxiety every time we visited my parents. Even though he had been used to (and loved) having "Nanny-days" with my mom before DS2 was born, he fought me tooth and nail when I so much as mentioned having a Nanny-day. He wasn't ready for another sleepover with my parents for almost a year afterward.

Every child is different, so my story may not help you out at all. DS1 is the super-sensitive, often anxious-sort, so his behaviour isn't all that surprising for him.

Did I worry about DS1 when I was actually in the hospital? I don't remember. I suspect not a whole lot. I trust my parents wholeheartedly, and I knew they were doing everything they could for him. I had my hands full recovering from surgery and doing supplemental feedings because my milk didn't come in as quickly as DS2 would have liked. I did miss him, and I was glad when we were all back at home.
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Old 02-17-2007, 06:22 PM   #8
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Re: ? about going to the hospital to have a baby when you have a toddler

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimmomy2dom View Post
Cristina, from the sounds of it (them knowing exactly how old she'll be and how long she'll be staying) she's having a c-section so I think they prefer you stay the 3 days.
Yes that is true a c-section and tubble on tuesday morning.

Rachel
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Old 02-18-2007, 05:49 AM   #9
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Re: ? about going to the hospital to have a baby when you have a toddler

My son was almost 19 months. I went into labor at 4am. Dh and I left for the hospital around 5:30a or so. Ds had no clue. He would've had a harder time had I left while he was awake (and able to watch me leave). But as it was, he just woke up and Grandma was here to get him breakfast and play with him. I stayed in the hospital only that one night and he was really occupied with checking out the baby and trying to make sure he had enough attention for himself
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Old 02-18-2007, 10:10 AM   #10
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Re: ? about going to the hospital to have a baby when you have a toddler

Luckily you have family to help. When I had my second little guy, who just moved to that state 11 days earlier and we had no one to watch DS. My husband took our son back to the hotel after he got me to the hospital, By the time he got back to the hotel and got DS in bed, I was calling him telling I had the baby already. I had both my kids bymyself except for the nurses. He brought DS to see me and his new brother for a couple hours during the day and then I went hom the next afternoon.
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